


pink flowers grow from my skin

by GallifreyanFairytale



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (sorry i haven't read them), F/F, Fire Nation (Avatar), First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, not canon compliant to the comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors return to the Fire Nation in search of new recruits. Mai hadn't realized how much she'd missed having Suki around until she's back in Mai's life, but now, Mai is beginning to see the other girl in a different light.
Relationships: Mai/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18
Collections: Avatar Rarepair Exchange 2021





	pink flowers grow from my skin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [avrelia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avrelia/gifts).



> as i said in the tags, i haven't actually had a chance to read the comics, so this is only canon compliant through the last atla episode. this was a bit challenging to write tbh but i had fun exploring this relationship dynamic
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy!
> 
> (title from bubble gum by clairo)

It’s spring when the door of the flower shop bursts open and two girls in Kyoshi Warrior uniforms stumble inside, and Mai shoots to her feet. 

Once Zuko and Iroh had gotten rid of all the guards who remained loyal to Ozai and hired new ones (through a _very_ lengthy process using Toph as a lie detector), the Kyoshi Warriors had left the Fire Nation, no longer needed to act as guards. Mai hasn’t seen them since.

“Mai!”

Mai doesn’t need to study the shorter of the two Warriors to know it’s Ty Lee. The braid in her hair gave her away before she even spoke. Mai assumes she’s brought Suki with her, but she’s being tackled by a hug that nearly knocks her backwards onto the floor before she can tell for certain.

“What are you doing back in the Fire Nation?” Mai questions as Ty Lee pulls back. She glances at the other Warrior and concludes that yes, it is Suki.

“We’re looking for new recruits!” Ty Lee beams. “But we had to come say hello to you first.”

Suki crosses her arms and leans against the doorway. She lifts her eyebrows at the back of Ty Lee’s head and smirks, and something in her expression makes Mai’s throat run dry. “The others who came with us are still settling in, but Ty Lee _insisted_ we come see you _now_.” She laughs lightly. “I can’t say I’m upset by her persistence, though. It’s nice to see you again.”

Mai nods politely. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Suki and Ty Lee don’t stay for long - they need to get back to the others and go over their plans for recruitment and training seminars over the course of the next few weeks - but they promise this won’t be the last time Mai sees them before they leave.

It’s only once the door swings shut behind them that Mai feels an emptiness creeping back into her chest - one she hadn’t even realized was there before Suki and Ty Lee had barged through the door with cheery smiles and happy voices.

\--

Suki returns the next evening, dressed in casual Earth Kingdom robes, her face free of Kyoshi Warrior face paint. Mai acknowledges her with a nod, then returns her attention to the flowers she’s trimming. Suki walks straight up to the counter and leans over it.

“Hi?” Mai says. It comes out as more of a question than a statement.

Suki smiles. This close, Mai can see the light freckles dotted across the bridge of her nose and the gold on her eyelids. “Are you free tonight? The other girls are busy, and I was hoping to spend some time with you before we leave.”

“I’m--” Mai is ready to say _still working for another hour and a half_ , but at that moment, her aunt decides to come from the back room, a bouquet of lilies in her hands. 

“Actually, Mai is all done for the night,” her aunt replies brightly, setting the roses in an empty vase on the counter. Mai looks at her half-trimmed flowers, the clippers in her hand, and then her aunt, wondering if maybe her aunt hadn’t realized Mai is very obviously in the middle of a task. Her aunt takes the clippers from Mai. “Go on, have fun!” She nudges her way into Mai’s spot and sets to trimming the flowers for Mai.

Mai wants to argue, until she sees the excitement in Suki’s eyes. She sighs, taking her apron off and hanging it on its hook. Before she can even turn around, Suki’s hand is encircling her wrist and she’s tugging Mai out of the shop. She shouts a goodbye to Mai’s aunt, promising to have her home before too late. Mai rolls her eyes and pretends the place where Suki’s palm is against her skin doesn’t feel like it’s on fire.

Mai follows Suki through the fire lit streets, winding through the crowds of people on various late night excursions. The end up in front of a small pawn shop, nestled between two far bigger, grander, buildings. There is a hand-painted _OPEN_ sign hanging on the door, an intricate red dragon design swirling around the word.

Suki pushes the door open, and the ringing of a bell alerts the old woman behind the counter of their presence. Suki waves to her and greets her by name, and the woman returns the favor. Then, her eyes land on Mai.

“Who’s your friend?” She quirks an eyebrow upwards.

“This is Mai,” Suki gestures in Mai’s direction. “She’s not part of the Warriors - she lives here in the Fire Nation.”

The woman’s eyebrows raise even higher towards her hairline. She pushes her glasses up further on the bridge of her nose and looks Mai over. “The Fire Lord’s…?” her voice trails off, seemingly unsure how to finish the question.

“The Fire Lord’s ex?” Mai finishes. “Yes. That would me.”

Mai stares at the woman, daring her to comment on how she threw away every girl’s dream life. All she says, however, is, “Good for you.” Then, she lowers her glasses and turns her attention back to the book in her hands.

Mai hardly even has time to be surprised by that before Suki is dragging her off to look around the shop. Every surface is covered with various knicknacks, ranging from expensive Earth Kingdom vases to carvings from the Water Tribes to homemade Fire Nation candles. 

“I found this place back when we were working at the palace,” Suki explains, picking up a book and blowing a thin layer of dust off the cover. She opens it and begins to thumb through the pages. “I found some really interesting scrolls on Kyoshi to use for training the first time I came here. I haven’t found anything else that quite matched up to those, but it’s fun to just look around.”

Mai hums in acknowledgment, letting Suki know she’s listening and doesn’t particularly have anything else to add. She picks up a golden necklace and studies the heart-shaped charm on it.

She’s hit, suddenly, by the thought of how pretty it would look hanging around Suki’s neck. How nice gold looks with Earth Kingdom green robes and how it would complement the shimmering eye shadow she’s wearing today and the flecks of light in her dark brown eyes.

It’s not a new realization that Suki is beautiful by any means. It’s not even a new realization for Mai that she’s into girls. It’s just not something that particularly mattered until now, when Suki looks up from her book. She grins at Mai and Mai’s heart skips a beat. And she wonders what it would be like to drop all her inhibitions and kiss the other girl.

Wait. What?

Mai blinks and shakes the thought from her mind, forcing herself to listen to what Suki is saying. 

“--maybe go to Cranefish Town and look for new recruits there. That’s where Anisa is from, and she said she knows several other people who might be interested in joining.” Suki sets the books back down on the table. “So how have you been?”

“Good,” Mai answers simply. She’s never been very good at small talk, but she doesn’t want to shut off conversation with Suki completely, so she searches for something else to say. Something that could warrant an actual response. “I’ve mostly just been working at my aunt’s flower shop. It’s nice to get a break.”

What Mai really means is _It’s nice to spend time with someone my age_ and also _It’s nice to spend time with you_ , but she won’t say that. She knows better than to allow anyone to see what she’s feeling so easily. The last thing she wants to do is scare Suki away.

Suki’s smiles come easy, Mai has realized, but that doesn’t stop Mai’s stomach from flipping over every time one of those smiles is directed at her. 

To Mai’s relief, Suki doesn’t question her about the breakup. Mai is tired of assuring people it was mutual and she’s tired of the looks of pity or judgment she doesn’t want. She’s not some delicate damsel in distress, and she’s not some soulless monster who shattered the Fire Lord’s heart. They grew apart, as people do, and that’s it.

Instead, Suki just nods. “It’s nice to spend time with you. I’ve missed you.”

And really, those words shouldn’t make Mai feel as if the floor is falling out from underneath her. They shouldn’t quicken her heartbeat or cause her face to flush. But they do, and they draw an elusive smile out of her as well.

“I’ve missed you too.”

\--

It becomes a nightly thing. After Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors have retired for the night, Suki comes to the shop and waits for Mai to finish closing. They walk through Caldera City’s shopping district, and they talk about whatever comes to mind. 

Mai hadn’t realized, really, how much she’d missed having Suki around until now. Back when the Warriors were staying in the palace and Mai was living there too, she’d spent enough time with Suki, Ty Lee, and the others that they’d asked if she wanted to join them when they left.

Mai had _wanted_ to say yes. She’d wanted to drop everything and leave for Kyoshi Island so she didn’t have to say goodbye to her friends. 

But Mai had also been dating Zuko, and she knew that he needed her more than the Kyoshi Warriors did in that moment - more than Suki and Ty Lee did. Mai couldn’t leave him alone. She just couldn’t.

So she’d turned down the offer and she’d stayed. And she’d pretended that it didn’t hurt to stand on the docks and wave goodbye. She’d convinced herself that she was fine, as she tends to do, and she’d locked her longing for more time with Suki into a neat little box in the back corner of her mind, where she couldn’t reach it and it couldn’t reach her.

But now that Suki is back, the box has been opened, and despite the fact that Suki is _right there_ with Mai, the longing is far more persistent. It is far heavier, and far less easy to ignore.

It sounds cliché, and Mai hates that it’s the comparison that comes to mind, but it’s like Suki has her own gravitational pull, sucking Mai in and refusing to let her go. Mai can’t even bring herself to mind, though. She lets herself be drawn in, lets herself look over at Suki for just a little too long, lets herself relish in the moments where Suki’s fingers brush against hers, lets herself get lost in Suki’s smile.

(She only has another week left before Suki leaves, anyways. Why shouldn’t she allow herself just a little indulgence while she has the chance?)

\--

“Can I ask you something?”

They got ice cream, tonight, and now they’re seated across from each other, perched on the edge of a fountain. Once, the fountain was topped with a statue of Fire Lord Sozin. That part has been taken down since the end of the war - though whether that was by Zuko or someone else is unclear. It looks a little like it was wrenched out of place and now there’s something incomplete about it.

It looks better this way, though, in Mai’s opinion. No reason for someone like Sozin to get a fountain everyone in Caldera City passes.

“Sure,” Mai responds, even though she’s not sure that’s the answer she wants to give. Something in Suki’s tone and face tells Mai this won’t be lighthearted like the rest of their conversations have been.

“You don’t have to answer,” Suki says carefully, “but I was wondering why you and Zuko broke up.”

Mai winces. There it is. Everyone wants to know why anyone would break up with the Fire Lord. In theory, it makes sense. In theory, the Fire Lady has her life set for her. In theory, she never has to worry about anything.

Mai knows that isn’t true. She doesn’t know the exact circumstances regarding Zuko’s mother’s disappearance, but she knows that in the past, marrying into the royal family came with far more risks than benefits.

That isn’t true anymore, of course. Zuko is nothing like his father. So, in theory, Mai _should_ have had everything set for her if she’d gotten married to Zuko.

But there’s more to life than living in a fancy palace under a fancy title. There’s life outside of the Fire Nation, and Mai has hardly seen any of it. There’s a life out there that doesn’t require suppressing your emotions, that allows Mai to _live_.

And Zuko isn’t part of that life.

That’s how it is, that’s how it’s always been. A life with Zuko is the one Mai’s parents wanted for her, the one Mai’s parents _trained_ her for, and it cost Mai the ability to figure out who she really _is_. She and Zuko weren’t built to last in a post-war world; they were built to last in a world where the war raged on until the Fire Nation came out victorious.

Mai doesn’t tell Suki any of that, though. She simply says, “We were drifting apart. We wanted different things from life, and we were mature enough to realize that our relationship couldn’t withstand that.” It’s a nice answer. Short and tidy and neat. And really, in a sense, it _is_ that easy.

“I get it. It was the same with Sokka and I.” Suki looks at her ice cream like it might hold all the answers to the universe, if she stares at it long enough to unlock its secrets. “I’m okay with it, though. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.”

Mai nods in agreement. “Yeah. There are some things you just have to let go of.” Mai still loves Zuko - and she knows she always will, in some capacity - but it isn’t the sort of love that brings about a relationship.

And it isn’t the sort of yearning that bubbles up in Mai’s chest when she thinks of Suki. Her feelings for Suki are softer. Brighter. Like standing in an open field with a thousand glowflies surrounding you, and everything feels _happy_.

Mai _is_ happy. 

She smiles.

Suki tilts her head. “What?”

“I just like spending time with you.”

Suki’s confusion melts into a grin and there might be a thousand glowflies in Mai’s stomach right now. She feels dizzy and grounded all at once. She’s both falling from a tree top and lying in the grass. Suki’s gravity is pulling her closer and pushing her father away, trapping her somewhere in the middle, somewhere Mai wants to stay forever.

“I like spending time with you too.”

They don’t talk anymore about breakups or relationships that couldn’t last. They talk about happier things - about how many new Warriors have been recruited, about the most memorable customers who have come into the flower shop while Mai is working, about what the future might hold now that the war is over and peace is here to stay.

Once they’ve finished their ice cream and agreed it’s time to head back, Suki slips her hand into Mai’s. Mai doesn’t let go until they’ve arrived back at her aunt’s house.

\--

The last time Mai was at a sleepover, she was eleven years old and it happened at the palace. It was Azula’s eleventh birthday, and she’d invited Mai and Ty Lee to spend the night.

Tonight doesn’t feel like too far of a stretch from the nights she would spend with Azula and Ty Lee, but at the same time, it thrusts a feeling Mai is entirely unfamiliar with upon her. 

It had been Mai’s aunt’s suggestion, actually, for Suki to stay the night. She told Mai that she seemed happier since Suki and the Warriors had arrived - since she’d started spending so much time with Suki - and suggested she have Suki spend the night before she and the Kyoshi Warriors leave for their next destination. It’s odd, to have someone wish happiness for you no matter what shape it takes. 

So instead of walking around town, searching for something to do, Suki and Mai play mahjong and Pai Sho while Mai’s aunt makes light conversation with the two of them. Suki enthusiastically tells her about the new recruits, and about how Ty Lee has already started teaching them to chi block. Mai has already heard most of what Suki is saying, but she listens anyway. Mostly because Suki’s voice sounds like honey and sugar - smooth and sweet - and Mai likes the way Suki’s eyes light up when she’s talking about the Kyoshi Warriors.

Soon enough, though, Mai’s aunt decides it’s time she goes to bed, leaving Suki and Mai alone. 

The change isn’t instantaneous, but it might as well be. Suki seems to stop trying to maintain a respectable distance from Mai, and she’s gazing at Mai with an expression Mai can’t quite put a name to. Suddenly, the world is just Mai and Suki, playing Pai Sho by candlelight. Suddenly, the world is only as wide as the room they’re in and it is made entirely of gentle whispers and fond looks and smiles meant only for the other to see.

It’s a piece of paradise, Mai thinks, right here in her aunt’s house. Right here in the Fire Nation. It’s as if time is standing still and nothing can touch them, nothing can break this moment.

Even when they stumble to Mai’s room, both half asleep already, time still feels syrupy. It’s moving impossibly slow, trying to drag the whole planet to a standstill, trying to stop the sun from ever rising.

They lay in bed next to each other, Mai looking up at the ceiling and Suki looking at Mai. Suki’s hand finds Mai’s, and despite the tiredness pulling at Mai’s eyelids, she can’t find it in herself to fall asleep. So she focuses on her breathing, inhaling Suki’s scent - plum blossoms and soil - and loses herself in the sensation of Suki’s thumb rubbing her knuckles.

Somehow, Mai does eventually drift off. She doesn’t feel it happen, but when she opens her eyes, Suki has an arm slung across Mai’s stomach and Mai has an arm wrapped around Suki. The beginnings of a sunrise are filtering in through the window, making everything glow golden.

Before she can think twice, Mai uses her free hand to brush Suki’s hair out of her face.

Once again, Mai wants nothing more than to kiss her. To pepper light kisses against each and every freckle on Suki’s cheeks, to ghost her lips along Suki’s jawline.

But she’s also content with simply existing in Suki’s presence.

\--

Truthfully, Mai has been trying to ignore the impending heartbreak that is Suki’s departure from the Fire Nation. As if ignoring it will stop it from happening altogether.

But the remaining days Mai has left with Suki dwindle down and a sinking feeling in Mai’s chest tells her that this will all be over as soon as Suki leaves - that whatever they have will not reach across the distance between them.

Except, the day before Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors are set to depart, Suki shows up at the flower shop in the middle of the day, holding a bouquet of dark red roses tied together with a bow that could only have been done by Mai’s aunt. She strides right up to the counter and hands the flowers over to Mai. 

Mai takes them, hesitantly, unsure what, exactly, is going on. “What are these for?”

“You,” Suki says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I came in and talked to your aunt this morning before your shift started.” She takes a deep breath. “I know I asked you this two years ago, but I’m hoping your answer might have changed since then. Mai, I’d really like it if you would join the Kyoshi Warriors. You can come with us to Cranefish Town and train alongside the new recruits, and…” Suki reaches forwards and takes one of Mai’s hands into her own, “and then we won’t have to say goodbye.”

If Mai is being honest, she thought the offer to join the Kyoshi Warriors had expired after she’d turned them down the first time. She thought she’d missed her chance because she wasn’t ready to leave the Fire Nation back then.

But she’s ready now.

She sets the flowers down on the counter, careful not to crush them, and then she steps around the counter so she can reach out for Suki and cup her face in her hands. She’s wearing red eyeshadow and red lipstick - something so very Kyoshi Warrior and also something so very _Suki_.

Mai doesn’t know what to say, really. She’s never been great with words. So she just nods, leaning even closer into Suki’s space. Finally, once her thoughts have thinned out a bit, she manages to whisper, “ _Yes_. Yes, I want to be a Kyoshi Warrior. Yes, I want to go with you.” _Yes, I want you_.

Suki giggles, and it’s prettier than any music Mai has ever heard.

And then they’re both leaning in and Suki’s lips are on Mai’s. Her lips are soft and sweet, silky and sugary. The kiss is gentle, and it’s over almost as quickly as it began, but it’s a promise of everything that is to come. When Suki pulls back, resting her forehead against Mai’s, Mai can still feel electricity crackling across her lips. She thinks they might feel a little bit on fire for the rest of her life, as long as the memory of kissing Suki is dancing around her brain.

Above all, though, the most surreal thing in this moment is that now, Mai is _allowed_ to hold Suki. She’s allowed to touch her, to kiss her, to call Suki _hers_. She doesn’t have to hold back.

Maybe, finally, she can _live_.

\--

The next day, Mai climbs aboard the ship with Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, like she wished she could two years ago, and waves farewell to her aunt. Suki’s hand stays firmly entwined with Mai’s as they watch both the Fire Nation dock and Mai’s aunt fade into the distance.

This is an ending. Mai knows that.

But this is also a beginning. This is the beginning of anything Mai wants.

In the background, she hears Ty Lee and Anisa drilling each other on their forms. She hears some of the other Warriors chatting idly. But mostly, she hears Suki’s breathing next to her, senses the rise and fall of her chest, and Mai smiles.

This is the beginning of anything she wants, and she’s lucky enough to have Suki by her side as she ushers in the next chapter of her life.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me on [tumblr](https://zukkaclawthorne.tumblr.com/)!!


End file.
